Ever wanted to turn your dying personal website into a successful 6 figures blog? I know I did (do)! But just look at me now! I’ve been online for over 10 years and my number of visitors and email list size is astounding(ly non-existent).

Over the years I’ve learned loads of tips and tricks that I’m here to share with you.

Creating a successful blog is not as mysterious as it seems, just (don’t) follow these 5 steps!

Where Do We Even Start?

Starting a website really isn’t that hard, you just need these three things:

  • A webhost
  • A Domain Name
  • WordPress

You have to put your website somewhere and there are plenty of options! So many I’m not even going to list any because that’s what Google is for!

Here is the Top 5 Steps to (not) Create a Successful Blog

 

Step #1: Write About What You Know Nothing About (and see your blog die grow)

Everyone writes about what they know, so stand out from the crowd by writing about things you don’t know! People will (not) come from all corners of the internet to get your advice on those topics you didn’t even bother to research! Like NFTs! Those New Fangled Technology things are…what are they? Exactly! Write about ‘em!

Step #2: Keep Post Titles Vague

Vague post titles are the key to getting those clicks! Titles like ‘My Best Tips’ are sure to get people to click and find out what your best tips are! They don’t need to know what kinds of tips they are. Just give them a list of selfies showcasing your largest tips from that barista job you quit two years ago. That’s sure to gain you reputability.

Step #3: Forget Photos, Save Time

Are people really that visual that you need an image to catch their attention? Don’t memes work without images? It will save you a lot of time creating your content if you don’t use any images, but if you must, don’t bother buying stock images (and forget about the free image sites) and just take photos with that old flip phone from high school. Those should be high enough quality.

Step #4: No Newsletters

Don’t bother creating a mailing list. You know no one wants those spam emails, and I’m sure they’ll find out about your new content and sales from your MySpace page! And the less time you are writing newsletters the more time you have to write those advice posts on topics you hate love!

Step #5: Forget Social Networks

Okay, it’s hard to let go of MySpace, but I promise you, all those social networks are just a fad. Everyone is going to be jumping from one platform to another that you won’t have time to make a footprint in any network. MySpace? Vine? Google+? Yeah, too much to handle! Just forget about that and just have your mom tell her book club (she’ll be so proud) and use word of mouth to share your website with the whole internet!

Follow Those 5 Steps and Achieve

Well, there were my top 5 Steps for (not) creating a successful blog!

  • Write About What You Know Nothing About
  • Keep Post Titles Vague
  • Forget Photos, Save Time
  • No Newsletters
  • Forget Social Networks

I was never gonna give up on you, and these tips won’t let you down! Now don’t go running around and deserting my advice okay? Now I won’t make you cry and force you to say goodbye. I won’t lie, taking a look around my website won’t hurt you!

Have fun!
Kima ‘Meike’ Prince

 

(man, too bad I didn’t think of this for April Fool’s…)

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